Tá sos tuillte agat!/You are allowed to take a break!

Fada an lá ó go raibh blag agam anseo daoibh ach rinne mé rud an-aisteach dom an tseachtain seo caite agus bhí mé ag iarraidh nóta a dhéanamh dó! Bhí gealach lán mór againn an tseachtain seo caite ach níor éirigh liomsa é a fheiceáil mar bhí mé tinn!

It has been a hot minute since I posted a blog here but I did something very unusual for myself last week and I wanted to document it! During last week we had a super full moon which means that the moon appears bigger in the sky because it is closer to the earth, I however missed it. I didn’t get to see it because I was sick.

Tá sé ráite agam anseo cheana go mbíonn éifeacht ag an ngealach agus timthriall na gealaí ar an taoide agus mar sin luíonn sé le ciall go mbíonn éifeacht aici orainn freisin. An mhí seo bhí an ghealach ag iarraidh insint dom go raibh sos ag teastáil uaim! Go tobann, i ndiaidh na hoibre ar an Máirt bhí mé tinn. Ní raibh mé iomlán cinnte an raibh mé tinn mar is ceart nó an raibh mé i ndiaidh dearmaid a dhéanamh ar mo dhinnéar an lá sin ach gan moill bhí mé sa leaba, ag siúl le nach gcuirfinn amach. An lá dár gcionn, dhúisigh mé leis an aláram ach bhí a fhios agam nach raibh mé rómhaith.
‘Ach tá lá gnóthach agam. Tá barraíocht ranganna agam len iad a chur ar ceal,’ a dúirt m’intinn liom.

The full moon energy causes the rise and fall of the tides in our oceans. Us humans are made up hugely of water so it makes sense that the moon cycles would affect us too. My experience with the moon is that the bigger and brighter it gets in our skies the more it is able to highlight things within us that we are ready to release, things that are no longer serving us. I can usually feel the energy of the moon for a few days before the actual full moon and then I feel a huge release and sense of ease once the fullness has passed. This month, the night before the full moon, after I had finished all my work I suddenly started to feel really really sick. I couldn’t tell if it was that strange ‘I haven’t eaten all day’ feeling or maybe I was tired because I hadn’t slept well the night before but I eventually realised the only thing I could do was go to bed and quickly! Keeping my eyes closed was the only way through. The next morning I woke up with the alarm and I knew I didn’t feel 100%.
‘But I have a really busy day. I need to teach those classes. I can’t cancel them.’

Ach bhí a fhios agam nach fiú dom na ranganna a mhúineadh agus mise tinn agus mar sin níor éist mé le m’intinn agus chuir mé na ranganna ar fad ar ceal. Ní rud é sin atá déanta agam rómhinic agus toisc go bhfuil mé féinfhostaithe bhí mé buartha faoin gcuma a bheadh orm agus faoin aiseolas go dtabharfaidh na scoileanna dom. Ní raibh fadhb ar bith ag éinne leis, dár ndóigh! Mar mhúinteoir aireachais bím ag múineadh do dhaoine an bealach le teacht isteach chucu féin agus éisteacht lena gcolainn féin. Bhí orm mo chomhairle féin a thógáil an tseachtain seo caite agus ar deireadh chuir mé dhá lá iomlán ar ceal agus níor tháinig deireadh leis an domhain. Fuair mé cúpla teachtaireacht ag rá ‘Katie bocht, tabhair aire duit féin’ agus bhí príomhoide an lá inniu ag cur ceiste faoi mo shláinte inniu.  

I had the usual train of thought but I knew if I went on to teach those classes as I had planned that they wouldn’t be great and I would feel worse for it so I rang one school and texted another principal and cancelled my classes. This was a big step for me and I know that I am not alone in my ‘I’ll just struggle through, it’ll be fine’ way of thinking and being but considering that I am teaching people to come back into their bodies so they can listen to what their bodies need it would have been hypocritical of me to not listen to my own body this week. I ended up taking my two busiest days off work this week. I cancelled a total of seven classes and the world did not end. Nobody gave out to me, in fact I got a lot of Poor Katie’s and ‘look after yourself’s.

Maireann muid in sochaí a deir linn nach fiú muid muna bhfuil muid gnóthach agus ag saothrú airgid. Le teachtaireachtaí mar sin ag teacht chugainn i rith an ama ní haon iontas é nach gcreideann muid gur féidir linn am saoire a thógáil, go háirithe nuair a thagann sé go cúrsaí oibre.
‘Céard a cheapfá dá má rud é nach raibh mé ar fáil leis seo a dhéanamh? Ní iarrfaidh siad orm obair a dhéanamh leo amach anseo.’
Sin cuid de na smaointe a bhíonn againn ach creidim go láidir gur cuid den chúis go raibh mé tinn an tseachtain seo caite ná toisc go raibh mé ag obair go dian le cúpla seachtain anuas agus nach raibh mé i ndiaidh sosa a thógáil. Mar sin, tá mé ag smaoineamh ar an tseachain seo caite mar bhriseadh lár téarma de mo chuid féin!

Living in a capitalist society that values productivity and profit over all else can lead us to thinking that we cannot take time off. We think we must be productive all the time so I am your friendly reminder that you need to take breaks and it is OK to take a break. I think part of the reason I got sick this week was because I’ve been working so much recently, and I haven’t had time to take time off so I’m thinking of this week as a little self-imposed midterm break.