Matán atá ann!/It's a muscle!

De réir an chaipitleachais níl mé úsáideach sa sochaí seo muna bhfuil mé ag obair i gcomhair airgid, airgead dom féin nó do dhuine eile. Mar mhúinteoir aireachais agus duine a bhíonn á cleachtadh tá mé ag foghlaim agus ag múineadh do dhaoine conas teacht ar ais chucu féin, conas éisteacht lena gcorp féin. Mar bhean, ciallaíonn sin gur ar a laghad uair sa mhí deir mo chorp liom gur ceart dom níos mó sosanna a ghlacadh, gur ceart dom níos lú a dhéanamh, nár cheart dom a bheith ag rith thart ar t-am ar fad. Tá an matán sin, gan a bheith ag déanamh neart rudaí nuair nach bhfuil do chorp in ann dó, cosúil leis na matáin ar fad atá againn; caithfimid é a chur ag obair roinnt mhaith uaireanta sula mbeidh sé láidir. Tá mé ag déanamh forbairt ar an matán ach níl sé éasca, go háirithe nuair atá an sochaí thart orm ag insint dom nár cheart dom, choíche. Léigh mé in áit éigin le déanamh gur féidir leat a aithint má tá an caipitleachas glactha isteach ionat go fochomhfhiosach más rud é go gcuireann tú do luach ar fad sa mhéid airgead a shaothraíonn tú.

Capitalism tells me that I am not useful unless I am working to make money, either for myself or for someone else. As a mindfulness teacher and practitioner, I am learning and teaching others to listen to their body and as a woman, this means that at least once a month my body is telling me to slow down, to take it easy, to rest. I am developing my listen to my body muscle but it’s hard, especially when I have capitalism all around me telling me that I need to be busy, that not being productive means that I am wasting valuable time. I saw somewhere recently that you know you have internalised capitalism when you associate your worth with how much money you make.

Le dhá bhliain anuas, tá mé ag foghlaim faoin míostrú agus an rud is mó a d’fhoghlaim mé ná má ghlacaim sos le linn agus roimh an mhíostrú tá mé in ann obair níos fearr agus níos fiúntaí a dhéanamh an chuid eile den mhí. Le deich lá anuas nó mar sin, chuir mé an-aithne ar mo tholg agus ní dhearna mé mórán eile. Uaireanta, le linn an chéad seachtain sin thuig mé go raibh an míostrú ag teacht (bhí mé seachtain luath ach d’athain mé na comharthaí) agus bhí mé ag mothú ceart go leor faoin easpa oibre a bhí mé ag déanamh nó faoin sos a bhí a glacadh agam, ag amanna eile mhothaigh mé ciontach. Tháinig mo chara tí abhaile cúpla lá agus d’fhiafraigh sé díom céard a bhí ar bun agam an lá sin. Ní raibh sé ag déanamh breithiúnais orm, díreach ag cruthú comhrá ach ghlac an ciotachas seilbh orm.

I have been learning about my menstrual cycle for the past two years and one of the biggest things I have learnt is that if I listen to my body before and during my bleed time and rest, then I can be more productive for the rest of the month. I have spent the past ten days or so doing the bare minimum and I have gotten to know my couch a lot better. Sometimes, during that first week of my resting I thought that my period was coming (we were a week earlier then I expected) and I was OK with my unproductivity (as capitalism would call it) or rest (as I prefer and am trying to remember to call it) and other times I felt guilty. My housemate came home a few days and asked what I’d been up to that day. He wasn’t judging, just making conversation but my guilt took over.

I mo ról mar mhúinteoir aireachais tá mé ag iarraidh ar dhaoine éisteacht lena gcorp féin, tá mé ag iarraidh orthu fáil amach céard atá ag tarlú iontu féin agus éisteacht leis sin. Muna féidir liom sin a dhéanamh dom féin ní féidir liom iarraidh ar dhaoine eile é a dhéanamh. Aithníonn daoine muna bhfuil tú ag déanamh an rud atá tú ag iarraidh orthu a dhéanamh. Níl a fhios agam conas a n-aithníonn siad é ach aithníonn.

But as a mindfulness teacher I am teaching people to listen to their bodies more, I am asking them to check in with themselves and to see what is going on for them. If I cannot do that myself, how can I convince anyone else that it is a good idea. I am a firm believer in practice what you preach; people know if you walk the talk. I don’t know how they know but they know.

An áit is deacra dom mar gheall ar seo ar fad ná cúrsaí spóirt. Is breá liom ag imirt spóirt. D’imir mé an-chuid cineáil éagsúil ó haca ar scoil go badmantan, Uasfhríosbaí agus bhíodh mé i mbun kickboxing i mBéal Feirste go dtí gur d’fhag mé ansin i mí Meitheamh. Is breá liom ag dul ag traenáil agus mar sin, fiú má tá mo chorp ag rá liom nár cheart dom dul, uaireanta téim ar aon chuma. Is maith liom nósanna a bheith agam agus má tá sé de nós agam dul go badmantan oíche Luain, tá mé ag iarraidh dul oíche Luain, fiú muna bhfuil mo chorp in ann dó. An tseachtain seo, ní dheachaigh mé agus bhí mé bródúil gur éirigh liom gan dul ann. An mhí seo chugainn b’fhéidir go rachaidh mé ach feicfimid! Agus muna n-éiríonn liom chomh maith céanna an mhí seo chugainn, déanfaidh mé iarracht gan a bheith róchrua orm féin!  

One of the main areas in all of this, rest when you need it, that I fall down is weekly exercise. I love playing sports. I have played lots of different sports from hockey in school, to badminton, Ultimate Frisbee and I did kickboxing in Belfast until June when I left. My love of these sports means that I usually want to go to training, even if my body doesn’t always want me to. Humans are creatures of habit and if I have the habit of going to badminton on a Monday night then I want to keep that habit up, even if I amn’t feeling fully up to two hours of running around a court. This week however, I managed to tell myself that I would only make my cold and menstrual pains worse if I did go to training. It’s a monthly struggle, one that I have failed at repeatedly but sometimes mistakes are really fun so it takes a few goes before you realise that it was a bad idea in the first place. This month my body won and I skipped training, next month I may or may not be as strong but I am noticing more and more what my body needs and the more I practice listening to it, the easier it gets.