Lig dúinn a bheith diúltach! / Let us be negative

Sílim go bhfuil muid uilig ag mothú thíos an tseachtain seo, cé go bhfuil cúiseanna éagsula ag cuid againn ‘sé dianghlasáil a dó atá ag déanamh buaireamh agus imní don chuid is mó den tír. Tá mé féin buartha faoi chúrsaí meabhairshláinte. D’imigh cara amháin liom de bharr an ruda ar fad go dtí seo agus níl mé ag iarraidh éinne eile a chailliúint.

A lot of us are feeling a bit down this week, although some of us have other reasons then others the general feeling is a feeling of fear, concern and worry as we are told to sit in Lockdown Round 2. I am personally worried about my and other people’s mental health. I have lost one friend as a result of all of this and I really don’t want to lose anyone else.

Chonaic mé rud éigin ar na meáin shóisialta inné faoi smaointe dearfacha nó positive thinking mar a deirtear i mBéarla. Tá mé féin i ndiaidh an-chuid a fheiceáil faoi sin, daoine ag iarraidh orainn a bheith dearfach faoi rud éigin nach bhfuil go maith.

I saw something yesterday on social media about all of this positive thinking that we’re fed. This post was talking about how unnecessary and not good for us it is to talk about only the positives and ignore the bad things, especially at a time that things are pretty grim.

Tuigim go bhfuil go leor rudaí maithe i gceist leis an dianghlasáil; níos mó ama ag daoine, níos lú tráchta, tá an-chuid daoine i ndiaidh aithne níos fearr a chur ar a gceantar féin agus an nádúr thart orthu. Ach anuas ar sin, tá an-chuid drochrudaí ann faoi freisin; ní cead againn buaileadh le daoine nach bhfuil cónaí orainn leo, tá gnólachtaí ar fud na tíre dúnta, níl cead againn spórt a imirt, tá daoine uaigneach agus braon de ranganna Zoom agus an t-am ar fad a chaitheamh os comhair scáileáin. Níl sé go maith don chorp nó don intinn.

I do understand and know that there are a lot of good aspects to the lockdown; people have more free time, there is less traffic on the roads, it is a chance to get to know your area better and to spend time in the nature surrounding you (if there is nature around you...). But I also know that lockdown sucks! Staring at a screen all day is really tiring, I’m not allowed to play sport anymore, businesses all across the country have had to close their doors. It isn’t good for our physical body or our mental state.

Tá daoine uaigneach agus muna thugann muid deis go daoine admháil nach bhfuil rudaí go maith mothóidh siad níos uaigní. Bíonn nasc agus cairdeas níos fearr agam le daoine nuair is féidir liom admháil leo nach bhfuil rudaí rómhaith. Tuigeann daoine an streachailt, chomh maith leis na rudaí maithe agus mar a deirim le daoine muna mothaíonn muid na mothúcháin nach maith linn i gceart ní bheidh muid in ann na mothúcháin gur maith linn a mhothú mar is ceart ach an oiread.

People are lonely and if we don’t give them a chance to admit the negative things and feelings they are having, they’re going to feel even more lonely. I find that I have a better relationship with people when I can tell them that things aren’t going so well for me. People understand and can relate to the struggle even more so sometimes then they can relate to the positive things happening for you.

Le linn ranganna le daoine fásta agus daoine óga, iarraim orthu rudaí maithe a tharla an lá sin a insint dom. Labhraíonn muid faoi na rudaí gur maith linn a bheith ag déanamh agus na rudaí a thugann ardú croí dúinn. Ag na hamanna seo, níl mé ag iarraidh neamhairde a dhéanamh ar na drochrudaí ach tá mé ag iarraidh níos mó spáis a thabhairt do na rudaí maithe. Is rud nádúrtha é don duine daonna a bheith ag smaoineamh ar na drochrudaí an t-am ar fad, sin an fáth gur mhair muid chomh fada seo, coinnigh sin slán muid ach anois ní gá dúinn a bheith chomh imníoch agus buartha, bhuel ní ag an leibhéal céanna is a bhí orainn nuair a bhí muid buartha faoi ainmhí dár ithe agus mar sin.

During my adult and my children’s classes I aske them to tell me about something good that happened for them that day. It is not that I am ignoring the negative things that are happening but we spend so much time focused on the negatives that I want to give some airtime to the positives as well. As human beings we have a negativity bias, we are more likely to focus on what went wrong then what went right because that is how we have survived. If something good happened to us way back when we were cavepeople we survived and it was fine but if something bad happened we more the likely died therefore it was important to be wary of the bad. Now however, our brains have stayed in that ‘look out for danger’ mode and we worry and stress about things that aren’t physically going to kill us. So it is perfectly natural for you to focus on that stupid thing you said in that meeting instead of all of the not-stupid things you said but during my classes I want people to acknowledge that amongst the negative is good too.

Mar sin nuair a labhraíonn muid ar na rudaí gur maith linn bíonn duine nó beirt i gcónaí ag iarraidh drochrud a insint dom (go háirithe sna ranganna do na páistí) ach ag an am sin níl mé ag iarraidh díriú isteach ar drochrudaí, tá spás ann do sin.
Le linn an cuid luigh síos sna ranganna do theaghlaigh iarraim ar na rannpháirtithe smaoineamh ar an mbealach atá siad ag mothú agus iarraim orthu gan aon rud a dhéanamh len é a athrú, díreach smaoineamh air mar níl aon rud mícheart le haon mhothúcháin, fiú muna maith linn féin é. Mar sin, an tseachain seo, an féidir leat ligint de na drochsmaointe, drochmhothúcháin agus na rudaí diúltacha faoin dianghlasáil seo a bheith ann. Ní gá duit stop a chur leo, ní gá duit aon rud a athrú fúthu, díreach aithin go bhfuil siad ann agus feicfimid céard a tharlaíonn.

During the relaxing, lying down part of my family classes, I ask the participants to notice how they are feeling. I name some nice feeling emotions and some not so nice feeling emotions and I ask them to just be aware of it, they don’t need to change it or do anything about it, just notice it. This week, see if you can just notice how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking. Just notice it, whatever it is; good, bad, indifferent and see if you can just let it be there. Let whatever is there to be there without judgement and just see what happens.

Tá tuilleadh eolais ar fáil faoi mo ranganna agus cúrsaí ar fáil ar an leathanach seo don suíomh.

There is more information on all of my courses and classes on this page of my site.