Ceist bheag amháin/One little question

Le seachtain anuas tá mé ag dúiseacht ag pé am a dúisím agus deirim liom féin ‘Céard gur mhaith liom a dhéanamh?’ agus b’ea sin an seachtain is táirgiúla a bhí agam le roinnt mhaith seachtaine. Sílim gur chreid mé go mothóinn i bhfad níos fearr chomh luath is a bhog mé teach ach ní shin mar a tharla sé agus ansin thuig mé gurb ea an rud a bhí mé ag iarraidh a dhéanamh ná nósanna an seansaoil a chur isteach sa saol nua seo.

For the past week I have been waking up at whatever time I wake up at and asking myself ‘What do I want to do?’ and as a result this has been my most productive week in a long time. I think I believed that I would feel much better as soon as I moved house but that isn’t what happened. But I realised what I was trying to do was bring the ways of the old world and the old way of being into this new world that has been created for us.

Mar atá luaite agam sa bhlag seo cheana, tá mé cleachtadh le bheith ag obair ón mbaile le blianta anois ach nuair a bhíodh mé á dhéanamh cheana d’fhéadfaidh mé dul amach agus caifé a bheith agam le linn an lae, bhíodh mé ag dul go bialanna san oíche nó díreach ag dul amach ag buaileadh le daoine, gan faitíos orm roimh aon víreas. Anois, tá mé ag obair ón teach go fóill ach níl mé ag dul amach ag múineadh ranganna, níl mé ag dul go caiféanna le píosa oibre a dhéanamh. Tá an saol iomlán athraithe, agus caithfidh mise agus muid ar fad athrú leis.

I have mentioned here before that I am well used to working from home. I have been doing it for years now but before, I was able to go out to a café during the day, I was able to go out and meet people in the evenings without worrying about some virus. I am still working from home right now but I am no longer going out to teach classes, I am no longer doing a few hours work in a café. Life has completely changed and I have to change with it.

Le seachtain anuas agus mé ag rá liom féin céard gur mhaith liom a dhéanamh anois ní raibh mé ach ag smaoineamh ar an nóiméad nó an uair an chloig a bhí díreach amach romham. Tá liosta agam de rudaí atá le déanamh agus tá a fhios agam go ndéanfaidh mé iad ag am éigin ach níl mé ag cur brú orm féin a thuilleadh iad a dhéanamh muna bhfuil an fuinneamh nó an fonn orm agus mar a dúirt mé bhí seachtain níos torthúla agam an tseachtain seo caite ná a bhí agam le tamall. Ach ní i gcónaí go bhfuil an cuma céanna ar an obair nó orm féin mar a bheadh uirthi nó orm cheana. Uaireanta tá mé ag déanamh cúpla uair an chloig scríbhneoireachta ar an leaba ag a sé an chloig sa tráthnóna, uaireanta tá mé ag léamh ábhair i gcomhair ranganna cois fharraige agus in amanna eile tá mé ag déanamh obair ríomhaireachta agus obair ar na meáin shóisialta céad rud ar maidin i mo phitseámaí, cosúil le díreach anois.

For the past week as I asked myself what I wanted to do every morning, I was simply thinking about what I wanted to do in the next few minutes or the next hour. I have a to-do list made out but I haven’t put any pressure on myself to have to do any of it but I have still managed to make a fair dent in it without the pressure. The work that I do or how I do it doesn’t always look like it might have before. Sometimes I will be doing some writing at six in the evening while I’m sitting on my bed, sometimes I’ll be reading through class notes by the sea or sometimes, like now, I’ll be in my pyjamas doing some work on the computer first thing in the morning.

Nuair a thuig mé an luach a bhí leis an gceist bheag sin a chur orm féin bheartaigh mé go raibh orm é a roinnt libhse. Tá faitíos orainn uilig agus muid ag teacht amach as an dianghlasáil ach an rud a d’fhoghlaim mé le seachtain anuas ná ní fiú dúinn a bheith crua orainn féin faoi láthair. Ní gá go mbeimid cleachtadh le rudaí faoi láthair, caithfidh muid am a thabhairt dúinn féin dul i taithí ar rudaí arís agus muna bhfuil tú róchrua ort féin faoi rudaí nach bhfuil déanta b’fhéidir go bhfeicfidh tú go mbeidh níos mó déanta agat, b’fhéidir. Ach b’fhiú triail a bhaint as ar aon chuma!

When I suddenly understood the value of asking myself that little question every morning I decided that I really wanted to share it with you. We are all scared and worried right now as we come out of lockdown but what I have learnt this past week is that there is no benefit in being hard on ourselves as we process this new way of being. There is no need to presume we can go back to being as productive as we were before, there is no point in making ourselves do things we are no longer comfortable with, and maybe if you take the pressure off a little bit you might find that you can be even more productive! Or maybe not but it’s worth a try finding out anyway, isn’t it?