Dúirt mo mháthair agus mo dheirfiúr rud éigin liom le déanaí a ghortaigh go mór mé agus bhí athmhachnamh á dhéanamh agam ar mo shaol dá bharr ach, cé go ndúirt siadsan é níl an locht orthu go bhfuil frustrachas, faitíos agus brón orm. Níl an cumhacht sin acu agus níor mhaith liom go mbeidh sé acu. Síleann muid go mion minic nach mbíonn muid ag mothú go maith de bharr iompair daoine eile, ach i ndáiríre ní féidir le daoine eile smacht a bheith acu orainn muna thugann muid an smacht sin dóibh.

My mother and my sister said something recently that hurt me and I have been re-evaluating my life choices and particularly my work as a result. Despite the fact that my existential crisis is a direct result of what they said, it is not their fault that I am now stressed over what to do in life. They don’t have that power, nobody has the power to MAKE you feel anything unless we let them.

Roinnt mhaith bhliain ó shin, ní raibh mé go maith. Bhí post togha agam, ní raibh sé iontach ach d’íoc sé na billí, bhí cairde agus saol sóisialta iontach agam ach ní raibh mé sásta. Ní raibh a fhios agam céard a bhí ann ach ní raibh mé sásta leis an saol. Chonaic mé fógra i gcomhair dúshláin 30 lá go sásamh ar líne, ag léamh faoi fuair mé amach go mbeadh orm pictiúr a thógáil de rud éigin a chur áthas orm gach lá ar feadh 30 lá. Éasca go maith a shíl mé. Thóg mé pictiúir de rudaí beaga aisteacha; nuair a bhí póit orm b’ea pé béile a bhí agam an rud a chuir áthas orm, na duilleoga deasa ar an talamh, an ghrian. An rud a d’fhoghlaim mé ón dúshlán seo ná go bhfuil go leor leor rudaí thart ort i gcónaí a chuirfidh miongháire ort má ligeann tú dóibh agus d’athraigh an dúshlán agus an meon seo mo shaol.

Whatever amount of years ago, I was not happy. I had a job that was fine. It wasn’t great but it was in the field I thought I wanted to work in and it paid the bills, I had a great social life and I had a lot of friends but I wasn’t content. Something was wrong but I didn’t know what. I saw an ad online for a 30 days happiness challenge. I had to take a photo of something that made me happy every day for 30 days, simple enough I thought. I started taking pictures of small simple things like my burger the day I was hungover or the pretty leaves on the ground. What I learnt from the challenge is that even though things may not be going very well or you may be having a bad day there are always little things that you can look at that can change your mood, you just have to let them.

Sin ráite, cuireann rudaí a deir agus a déanann daoine eile isteach orm go fóill ach le linn na feirge nó an bhróin tá mé in ann bláthanna deas a aithint, nó airím níos fearr nuair a fheicim radharc álainn trasna na farraige.

That all being said, what people say still has an effect on me, especially if it is said by someone I respect or have a close relationship to me but while I am upset I can still notice beautiful flowers or a lovely view of the sea.

Is scil thar a bheith tábhachtach é seo domsa sa lá atá inniu ann agus an sé mhí iontach strusmhar seo caite againn, agus níl an cuma air go laghdóidh an strus sin go luath ach más féidir leat rudaí beaga thart ort a aithint mar rudaí maithe a chuireann áthas ort cabhróidh sin go mór leat. Is mar sin gur bheartaigh mé an tseachain seo chugainn go gcuirfinn dúshlán 5 lá go sásamh ar fáil do dhaoine agus níl mé ag rá go n-athróidh sé do shaol ach beidh cúpla nod beag isteach ann go gcabhróidh le do shaol tá mé cinnte! Déanfaidh mé an dúshlán ar mo ghrúpa Facebook Cultivating Happiness Within. Gach lá beidh rud beag agam daoibh le déanamh, rud beag nach dtógfaidh níos mó ná 15 nó 20 nóiméad ach rud beag a chabhróidh go mór le do leibhéal sásaimh go ginearálta.

This has been a really useful skill over the past six months of constant stress, and it doesn’t look like this stress is going to reduce anytime soon! So because of this I decided that next week I will be running a 5 day challenge of my own! It is called 5 Days to Feeling Happier and I will be running it in my Facebook group Cultivating Happiness Within. Every day next week I will give the participants a task to do, something small and simple that won’t take more then 15 or 20 minutes but will increase their happiness levels.  

Bheartaigh mé é a reáchtáil an tseachtain seo chugainn leis na scoileanna ag oscailt arís agus leibhéal struis dhaoine ag ardú agus tá siúl agam go gcabhróidh sé seo leis sin. Más suim leat a bheith páirteach ann ní gá duit ach a bheith mar bhall den ghrúpa Facebook agus is féidir leat sin a dhéanamh anseo. Feicfidh mé ann sibh!

I decided that next week was a good week to do it as schools are now opening or are already open and I know parents, teachers and students will be feeling a little bit more worried or anxious then they may have before. If you want to be part of the challenge all you have to do is join my Facebook group here and I’ll see ye in there!

Tá scoileanna, daltaí, múinteoirí agus tuismitheoirí ag ullmhú le filleadh ar an seomra ranga, cé go mbeidh cuma difriúil air ón uair dheireanach go raibh muid istigh iontu, bhuel síleann muid go mbeidh sé difriúil ach i bhfírinne níl a fhios ag éinne cén cuma a bheidh ar rudaí. Cuireann an aineolas sin ar fad faitíos ar dhaoine. Nuair a dhún na scoileanna sé mhí ó shin bhí orainn dul i dtaithí ar an saol nua agus anois, leis na scoileanna ag oscailt arís agus ‘cead’ againn dul amach beidh orainn dul i dtaithí ar sin freisin.

Schools, students, teachers and parents are all preparing for a return to the education system that we used to know. Well, that education in a new and different format but some sense of normality. At this point children have been out of school since March. That is six long months of being at home and away from the hustle and bustle of the classroom and the school yard so just as we had a transition period at the beginning of the lockdown we will have a transition period out of it.

Beidh mothúcháin éagsula againn ar fad, cúpla ceann éagsúil in aghaidh na huaire in amanna. Beidh cuid againn ar bís le dul ar ais agus daoine a fheiceáil agus rud éigin normálta a aireachtáil, beidh faitíos agus buaireamh ar dhaoine eile agus don chuid is mó beidh muid ar fad ag mothú an dá rud! Seans go mbeidh muid ar bís ar maidin agus faoin tráthnóna buartha agus faoin am luigh b’fhéidir go mbeidh muid suaimhneach go leor. Bíonn mol mór mothúcháin againn an t-am ar fad, agus ní seo an t-am le dearmad a dhéanamh ar sin. Léiríonn do mhothúcháin rud éigin duit agus tá sé tábhachtach fios a bheith agat go bhfuil gach uile ceann acu ceart go leor. Níl aon rud mícheart duit os rud é go n-airíonn tú faiteach nó faoi bhrú nó aon mhothúchán eile.

Children, teachers, school staff and parents will all be feeling lots of different emotions right now. Some people might be really excited to get back into some sense of normality. Some people might be feeling the complete opposite and a lot of us may not know exactly what we’re feeling. We might feel excited one minute, worried the next, angry, emotional, sad we have a huge spectrum of emotions that we could be feeling and every one of them is OK. Every emotion you could possibly feel at any given moment is OK.

Le déanaí bhí mé in suíomh a scanraigh mé. Bhí beirt i ndiaidh a insint dom go raibh gach rud ceart go leor anois ach bhí a fhios agam féin nach raibh sé. Bhí eagla an domhain orm. Chuaigh mé abhaile an oíche sin agus in ionad neamhairde a dhéanamh ar an mothúchán sin mar a rinne mé iomaí uair cheana chuir mé glaoch ar bheirt chara liom. D’éist siad liom, thug siad tacaíocht dom agus mhothaigh mé i bhfad níos fearr. Ní hea go raibh an faitíos imithe ach thuig mé nach raibh aon rud mícheart leis agus mhothaigh mé níos fearr faoi agus fios agam go raibh tacaíocht agam.

Recently I was in a situation that made me really scared. I had had two people tell me beforehand that I should be fine and that it was all over but it wasn’t. I was still terrified. I went home that night and instead of doing what I have done too often in the past and ignoring my feelings and pretending they weren’t there I acknowledged them and I cried, I called some people that I knew would be supportive and after talking to both of them I felt so much better. I wasn’t not afraid anymore but I felt more in control and I felt more supported. Neither of the people I had spoken to had judged me and I felt like I had processed what I was feeling.

An t-aon rud atá le déanamh leis na mothúcháin ná iad a mhothú. Mothaigh é go dtí go bhfuil do sháith agat dó agus ansin tabhair na rudaí fisiciúla atá thart ort faoi deara. Smaoinigh ar an gcaoi go n-airíonn do lámh. Smaoinigh ar an gcaoi go n-airíonn do thóin ar an suíochán, do chosa ar an talamh. Táimid in ann dáileáil leis an méid atáimid in ann dáileáil leis agus sin a bhfuil faoi! Ní fiú dúinn brú a chur orainn féin níos mó a dhéanamh mar ní oibróidh sé. Agus tá sé sin mar an gcéanna do dhaoine óga freisin!  

The only way to deal with any emotion we have is to feel it. Feel into it as much as you can and when you can’t anymore gently return your attention to the physical feeling of your body, feel your bum on the seat, your feet on the floor. We can only deal with and process what we can deal with and process and there is no need and no point in forcing anything.

Má tá daoine beaga agaibh sa bhaile atá neirbhíseach faoin scoil inis dóibh go dtuigeann tú, go bhfuil na mothúcháin sin againn ar fad faoi láthair agus lig dóibh na mothúcháin seo a bheith acu. Más rud é go dtuigeann siad nach bhfuil aon rud cearr leo agus go bhfuil tú ann dóibh beidh siad go breá i ndiaidh tamaill.

My advice to anyone with little ones or not so little ones at home that are struggling with the unknowns of what this school year will bring is to just sit with them. Tell them you know they’re struggling and that you are there to help them in any way you can.

Sna hamanna sin nuair a airíonn tú ar nós nach bhfuil tú in ann don saol cabhraíonn sé más féidir leat díriú isteach ar an anáil agus cúpla anáil mhór fhada a thógáil isteach agus amach, más féidir leat labhairt le duine éigin nó más féidir leat damhsa! Is breá liom féin a bheith ag damhsa agus mar sin, sin an chéad rud a ritheann liom ach más féidir leat aon chineál aclaíochta nó bogadh a dhéanamh cabhróidh sé sin go mór! Cuirfidh sin an fuinneamh agus an fuil ag bogadh thart ionat agus mothóidh tú níos fearr.

In times of overwhelm it can be really useful to focus on your breathing, to talk to someone about what you are feeling overwhelmed about or if you’re feeling up to it to dance! Moving your body can be the perfect thing that is needed to get some of the stagnant, not-moving energy within you flowing again and if you’re not a dancer a walk or a run or kicking a ball around the garden can really help too.

Tá siúl agam go gcabhróidh cuid de na rudaí atá luaite agam anseo leat agus le do theaghlach le linn na hamanna aisteacha, doiligh seo. Beidh cúrsa Relax Kids ar siúl agam ar líne do theaghlaigh agus le linn an chúrsa labhróimid faoi rudaí éagsula gur féidir leat a dhéanamh le cabhrú le strus agus buaireamh. Beidh an cúrsa seo i mBéarla ach tá mé ag siúl le cúrsa Gaeilge a chur ar fáil go luath freisin. Tá na sonraí ar fad faoin gcúrsa Béarla ar fáil anseo agus tá spásanna teoranta. Cuirigí scéal chugam má tá aon cheist agaibh.

I hope that some of these things may help you and your family during these difficult times. I will be running a 4 week online Relax Kids classes for families during September to help with the transition back to school. I will be going through all of these tips and giving you and your loved one plenty more to work with as well. All of the information is here and places are limited. Send me an email with any questions.

Tá mé ag dul ar saoire (in Éirinn dár ndóigh)! Ní dóigh liom go raibh mé ag siúl le seachtain saor an méid seo le tamall fada! Cé nach raibh mé ag obair an-chuid ó lár mí an Mhárta bhí mé ag déanamh beagán oibre anseo is ansiúd. Chuaigh mé i dtaithí ar an dianghlasáil agus deireadh an dianghlasála agus mar atá luaite agam cheana agus mar atá a fhios agaibh féin tá neart strus ag baint leis sin ar fad! Agus le strus tagann tuirse! Tá mé spíonta amach is amach an tseachtain seo! Agus tá mé ag tabhairt cuid den locht go dtí an ghealach lán a bhí againn ar an Luan.

I am going on holidays (in Ireland of course)! And I don’t think I have been as excited for a holiday as much as I am now! Although I haven’t been doing a lot of work since mid-March I have been doing some all the time. I have also been dealing with the lockdown and moving house and coming out of lockdown which as we have explained on this blog before, is all very stressful! Which also means that it’s very tiring! And then we also had a full moon on Monday which is getting some of the blame for my exhaustion!

An Aoine seo caite chuaigh mé ar ais go dtí an suíomh ina raibh an fear sin. Bheartaigh mé go raibh orm leanúint ar aghaidh mar a bhí mé mar muna ndearna mé sin bheadh an bua aige agus NÍ BHEIDH AN BUA AIGE! Ach fós féin bhí mé neirbhíseach ag dul ann. Tháinig fearg air nuair a labhair mé leis agus ba léir go raibh faitíos ar bheirt bhean eile roimhe freisin. Chuaigh mé ann agus bhain mé sult as an tráthnóna go dtí go raibh orm deileáil leis go díreach. Chuir mé miongháire orm féin agus lig mé orm féin go raibh mé go breá ach ar an taobh istigh ní raibh. Bhí mé míchompordach agus i ndiaidh nuair nach raibh mórán daoine eile thart bhí faitíos orm go ndéanfaidh sé ionsaí orm sa charrchlós. Rith mé ó dhoras an ionaid go dtí an carr.

Last Friday I went back to the place that I knew I would see that man I had had to speak to. I had decided that Ihad to keep going because if I didn’t then he won and by God HE WILL NOT WIN! But I was still nervous going. I had seen him get angry and get angry at me when I spoke to him and the two women who know what happened are clearly afraid of him themselves. But I went and I enjoyed the evening until I had to deal with him directly, but even so I painted a smile on my face and I pretended that I was fine but on the inside I was anyhng but. I was uncomfortable and as there weren’t many people around I was afraid that he would or could attack me in the carpark. I ran from the door of the centre to the car.

Chuaigh mé abhaile agus chaoin mé. I ndiaidh a labhair mé leis tháinig fearg air agus d’úsáid duine eile an focal ‘volatile’ le cur síos a dhéanamh air. Níl mé ag iarraidh fáil amach céard go d’fhéadfaidh sé a dhéanamh. I ndiaidh neart smaointeoireachta a dhéanamh air bheartaigh mé gur ceart dom labhairt le duine níos airde ná mé agus iarraidh orthu labhairt leis ach.

I went home and I cried. When I had spoken to him he had become angry, someone else described him as volatile. I didn’t want to find out what he was capable of. After overthinking the whole thing again I decided that I should speak to someone in authority and ask them to speak to him.

Ach tá tuirse orm. Tá easpa fuinnimh agam. Tá mé i ndiaidh mo chuid a dhéanamh agus anois caithfidh mé dul agus brú a chur ar dhaoine eile rud éigin a dhéanamh? Tuigim gur seo mar atá an saol do mhná leis na cianta agus má táimid leis sin a athrú caithfimid troid ina choinne ach tá mé scriosta agus níl fonn orm dul i mbun cainte arís faoi. Bhí mé ar ais sa suíomh céanna leis arís an tseachtain seo ach bhí mé i ndiaidh cinnte a dhéanamh nach mbeadh mé ag imirt leis agus os rud é nach raibh orm fiú breathnú air agus go raibh níos mó daoine thart mhothaigh mé i bhfad níos fearr.

But I’m really tired. I have no energy and I’ve done a lot but I still have to continue fighting and demanding that someone else does something? I understand that this is what happens and that women have to fight for this all the time, especially if we want anything to change but I really don’t want to talk about it again. I just don’t want to do anything else. I have been back again this week and with more people around and me having made sure that I won’t have to directly deal with him I felt much better.

Thóg sé i bhfad barraíochta spáis i mo chloigeann agus tá mé spíonta dá bharr. Má tá orm rud eile a dhéanamh amach anseo déanfaidh mé é ach faoi láthair níl mé in ann.

Him and his bad behaviour has already taken up too much, enough of my mental space and I’m wreaked as a result. If I have to do something else at some point I will but right now I just don’t have the energy or the desire.

Tá cuid díom ag rá gur ceart dom dul go na Gardaí le go mbeidh rud éigin oifigiúil ann agus gur ceart dom brú a chur ar dhaoine níos airde labhairt leis le cinnte a dhéanamh nach dtarlóidh sé d’éinne eile agus tuigim an cuid sin díom go hiomlán. Mar bhean sílim go bhfuil dualgas orm seasamh suas i gcoinne a leithéid d’iompar ach sheas. Chuir mé stop lena chuid cainte liomsa. Rinne mé an rud a bhí ag teastáil domsa ag an am sin agus tá mé bródúil as agus anois caithfidh mé aire a thabhairt dom féin. Má leanaim orm ag troid caillfidh mé fuinneamh agus misneach go hiomlán.

Part of me is saying that I should go to the Gardaí to make sure there is an official statement about him and that I should get someone in authority to speak to him to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else, and I understand that part of me. As a woman I feel like I have a responsibility to other women to do what I can to stop this behaviour but I did. I stood up to him. I’ve told him that what he said to me isn’t acceptable and that has to be enough. I don’t have the energy o do anything else. That is enough. If I keep fighting when I have nothing left to give then I’ll lose faith and courage altogether.

Rud mór a d’fhoghlaim mé ón aireachas ná a bheith airdeallach orm féin agus ar an gcaoi go n-airím agus faoi láthair tá mé spíonta amach is amach! Agus níl fonn troda orm a thuilleadh. Tá mé i ndiaidh cinnte a dhéanamh nach leanfaidh an drochiompair ar aghaidh agus anois tá sé in am dom aire a thabhairt dom féin. Tá mé i ndiaidh líne a tharraingt thíos faoi agus más gá tiocfaidh mé ar ais chuige agus muna ní thiocfaidh.

One of the main things I have gotten from my mindfulness practice is the ability and importance of listening to myself. I just don’t feel like fighting anymore. I don’t feel like I can. I need to rest so that is what I am going to do – and I think I deserve a nice pat on the back for not only realising that but also doing it!

Agus mar sin a chairde, tá mé ag siúl go mór le mo sheachain saor! Tá mé faoi strus ag rud amháin nó rud eile le míonna agus anois tá sos uaim ón rud ar fad! Tá mé ag siúl le cúpla lá ar a laghad gan an fón a bheith ar siúl agus le bheith go hiomlán i láthair in pé áit a bheidh mé! Agus nuair a thiocfaidh mé ar ais beidh mé réidh le tabhairt faoin saol i gceart arís! Tá siúl agam.

So there you have it one of the few reasons I am wreaked and totally in need of this holiday! I am looking forward to a few days without the phone and not looking at emails and then when I get back I’ll be ready to throw myself back into work properly! Bhuel, I hope so!