Níl mé i bhfolach a thuilleadh! / I am no longer in hiding!

Agus mé i mo chónaí i mBéal Feirste chuir mé spéis sna aireachais, sa Ghealach, mo chorp féin agus an míostriú. Le os cionn bliain go leath bhí mé ag freastáil ar chiorcal na mban le Joanne Callan in Iúr Chinn Trá. Chas muid le chéile ar an nGealach Lán gach mí agus labhair muid faoin saol, faoin éifeacht a bhí ag an nGealach orainn an mhí sin, bhíodh píosaí aireachais againn, labhair muid ar chártaí éagasúla agus phlé muid an míostriú. An samhradh seo caite léigh mé Code Red le Lisa Lister agus d’athraigh sé an míostrú dom agus an caidreamh a bhí agamsa leis agus le mo chorp féin. Thosaigh mé ag scríobh síos gach oíche cén lá den timthriall ina raibh mé air, an dáta agus conas a bhí mé ag mothú. Thosaigh mé ag tuigmháil mé féin agus mo chorp i bhfad níos fearr.

While I lived in Belfast I developed an interest in meditation, menstruation and my own body. For over a year and a half I was attending a women’s full moon circle in Newry hosted by Joanne Callan. We would meet on the full moon and we would talk about life, the moon and how it had effected on us on that particular month, we would do some meditating and we would pull some cards. Last summer I read Code Red by Lisa Lister and my relationship with my menstrual cycle and my body completely changed. Every month I started writing down what day of my cycle I was on, the date and how I felt. I started understanding myself and my body so much more.

I bhfad roimhe sin chuala mé neart faoin gcupán míostrú agus bhí sé in úsáid agam. Bhí sé níos fearr de mo chorp os rud é nach raibh ceimicí difriúla istigh ann, cosúil leis na ceimicí a chuireann comhlachtaí ar nós Always istigh sna táirgí míostrú atá acu, chomh maith leis sin bhí sé níos saoire agus níos fearr don timpeallacht ach níor thaitin sé liom mórán. Chuala mé faoi tuaillí athúsáide go d’fhéadfaidh tú a ghlanadh gach mí agus a úsáid arís ach níor thaitin an smaoineamh liom.

Way before that, I had heard a lot about the menstrual cup and I had started using it. I used it because it was better for my body as it doesn’t have all of the chemials the likes of Always put into their products but as well as that it was cheaper and better for the environment. Despite all of this I didn’t particularly like it. I had heard of reusable sanitary towels and I liked the theoretical idea of them but I didn’t know if I was up for the cleaning of them. It sounded a bit gross to me to be honest.

Bliain ar aghaidh agus is iad na tuaillí sin atá in úsáid agam gach mí agus tá siad an-éasca le húsáid agus níl aon rud deisteanach fúthu ach an oiread, mar a shíl mé go mbeadh.

A year later and I am using the reusable towels every month and I love them! They’re really easy to use and even to wash and it’s not as disgusting as I had thought it would be!

An tseachtain gur bhog mé isteach sa teach nua seo i nGaillimh bhí an míostrú agam agus, mar atá ag tarlú domsa le os cionn bliana anois, bhí an Ghealach Lán ann ag an am céanna. Ní raibh ciorcal agam le dul chuige an mhí sin, rud a chuir brón orm ach fós féin, bhí mo shearmanas féin agam sa ghairdín. Ach níor dúirt mé aon rud le mo chara tí a bhí sa chistin, mo chara tí go raibh comhrá fada agam leis díreach roimhe, ach bhí eagla orm é a luaigh leis. Ní raibh a fhios agam céard a dhéarfaidh sé, bhí mé buartha go gceapfeadh sé go bhfuil mé iomlán as mo mheabhar – agus b’fhéidir go bhfuil ach ní raibh mé ag iarraidh go mbeadh sé ag smaoineamh sin…

The week I moved into my new house here in Galway I was on my period and, as has been happening for the past year, we had the full moon as well. I didn’t have a circle to go to that month which really brought home to me how new I am to Galway but I had my own little ceremony in the garden. But I didn’t say anything to my housemate who was in the kitchen at the time, a housemate who I had had a really long conversation with just before hand but I was afraid to mention it to him. I didn’t know what he would say. I was afraid he would think I was crazy, something which is probably true but I still didn’t want him thinking that…

An tseachtain dár gcionn bhí orm mo thuaillí míostrú a nigh agus a thríomú ach arís eile bhí mé buartha faoin méid go mbeadh mo chairde tí ag smaoineamh fúthu. Fir uilig atá iontu agus níor shíl mé go dtuigfeadh siad. Rinne mé iarracht na tuaillaí a chur i bhfolach taobh thiar de m’éadaí eile, cé gur thuig mé go raibh siad le feiceáil…

The next week I had to wash and dry my towels but again, I was worried about what my housemates would think. They’re all men and I didn’t think they would understand. I tried to hide them behind other clothes as I hung them out to dry but I knew you could still see them.

Bhí bean duine amháin sa teach ann nuair a bhí mé ag baint m’éadaí ón líne.
               ‘Cén áit ar bhfuair tú iad sin?’ a d’fhiafraigh sí díom, agus í ag breathnú ar na tuaillí míostrú, ‘Tá mé ag iarraidh a léithéid a cheannach mé féin.’ Fuair mé amach gur scríobh sí aiste mar chuid den ollscoil mar gheall ar thruailliú a dhéanann táirtí míostrú agus go dtaithníonn sé an-chuid léi a bheith ag labhairt faoin míostrú. Bhí áthas agus iontas an domhain orm!

One of the lads’ girlfriend’s was over when I was taking down my washing.
               ‘Where did you get them?’ she asked looking at my towels, ‘I really want to get some myself.’ I found out that she had written an essay for college on the pollution menstrual products cause and that she loves talking about periods! I was surprised and delighted!

An rud a d’fhoghlaim mé an lá sin ná nach bhfuil a fhios agat, riamh cén rud atá éinne eile ag smaoineamh agus ba cheart duit agus dúinn ar fad, stop a chur leis an dul i bhfolach seo ar eagla nach dtuigfeadh daoine. Tá sé in am dúinn uilig seasamh suas agus a rá os ard gur seo muid agus táimid bródúil as sin!

What I learnt that day was you never really know what people are thinking and we all need to stop hiding things about ourselves that we’re afraid others will find weird. It’s time for us all to stand up and say out loud ‘This is me and I’m proud of it!’