Dátheangach/bilingual

‘With change brings grief but don’t let that grief make you think that the change is a bad thing.’

Chonaic mé sin scríofa síos ag an deireadh seachtaine agus thuig mé go maith é. Le seachtain anuas tá an bogadh seo ag mothú iontach cóngarach, tá sé cóngarach. Tá níos lú ná seachtain fágtha agam i mo chónaí anseo agus tá deireadh ag teacht go an-chuid rudaí.

I saw that quote at the weekend and it really resonated with me. For the last while this move is feeling very close and now it is close. In less then a week I will be moving out of my home here and I am starting to say goodbye to a lot of things.

Chuaigh mé go rang damhsa aréir. Bíonn an rang ar siúl ar bharr Bóthar Ormeau gach oíche Luain agus tá mé ag freastail air le os cionn dhá bhliain anuas agus is breá liom é! I mbliana bhí mé ag déanamh cúrsa ar an oíche chéanna agus mar sin ní raibh mé in ann freastail air. B’ea an tseachtain seo caite an chéad oíche go ndeachaigh mé ar ais chuige agus ar bhealach tá aiféal orm go ndeachaigh. Rud eile a bhí ann go raibh orm slán a fhágáil leis. D’fhag mé slán leis aréir; slán leis na daltaí eile, leis an múinteoir agus leis na damhsaí difriúla a rinneamar.

I went to a dance class last night. The class takes place at the top of the Ormeau Road every Monday  and I have been going for over two years now and I love it! This year I was doing a course on the same night as the class so I couldn't go. Last week was my first night back and I kind of regret going back. This is something else I have to say goodbye to. I said goodbye yesterday; goodbye to the other students, the teacher and the different dances we learnt.

Bhí mé ag smaoineamh agus mé ar an mbealach isteach an doras inné go d’fhéadfaidh mé sin ar fad a sheachaint muna ndeachaigh mé ar ais. Ní maith liom nuair a bhíonn daoine dírithe orm, nuair atá mé sa lár agus gach duine ag caint liom nó fuaim. Bheadh sé i bhfad níos éasca díreach gan dul ar ais ach mothóinn ciontach dá má rud é go ndearna mé sin agus bheadh mé i gcónaí ag smaoineamh dá ndeachaigh mé...

I was thinking as I went in the door yesterday that I could have avoided all of that. I didn't have to go back which meant I didn't have to say goodbye to it. I don't like being the centre of attention, I don't like when everyone is talking about or to me. It would have been easier to just not go back but then I would have felt guilty, I would have wondered what if...

Fuair mé amach an samhradh seo caite gur bheartaigh mé agus mé óg nach raibh mé tábhachtach. Chreid mé go raibh gach duine eile níos tábhachtaí ná mé agus nár fiú dom i gcomparáid leo. Bhí an chreidiúint seo i lár an aonaigh i mo shaol. Rinne mé cinntí bunaithe air i ngan fhios dom féin. Ach anois tá mé ag iarraidh deiridh a chur leis ach tá sé sáite ionam. Rud atá mé ag déanamh ná go bhfuil mé ag aithint amanna i mo shaol a léiríonn dom go bhfuil mé tábhachtach, go bhfuil tábhacht ag baint liom agus go bhfeiceann daoine eile é. Sin an fáth gur thuig mé go raibh orm dul ar ais go dtí an rang damhsa, sin an fáth go bhfuil mé ag iarraidh a rá le daoine go bhfuil mé ag fágáil, sin an fáth go mbeidh mé míchompordach leis ach sin an fáth go leanfaidh mé orm. Leanfaidh mé orm go dtí go mbeidh sé compordach dom.

I realised this past summer that I decided when I was really young that I wasn't important. I believed that everyone else around me was more important and that I wasn't very valuable in comparison to them. This belief has been a big player in my life. I have made decisions up until this point based on this belief without realising it. Now I want to get rid of it, but as a belief it's very deeply rooted and it's not easy. One thing that I am doing is to notice times that prove to myself that I am important, I'm noticing times that other people recognise my importance and I am slowly dissolving my warped belief. This is why I knew that I had to go back to the dance class, this is why I want to tell people that I am leaving, this is why I will be uncomfortable but  I will keep going into the discomfort until it is comfortable. 

Is breá liom na rudaí seo a fhoghlaim fuaim féin mar ansin is féidir liom é a athrú. Díreach toisc go gcreidim é ní chiallaíonn sin go bhfuil sé fíor. Mar a bhím ag rá le mo dhaltaí aireachais, díreach toisc go mbíonn an smaoineamh agat, ní chiallaíonn sin go bhfuil sé fíor.

I love finding out these things about myself because it then means that I can change it. Just because I believe it doesn't make it true. As I teach my mindfulness students; just because it is a thought you have, that doesn't make it true.

Rang kickboxing le slán a fhágáil leis oíche anocht....

I have to say goodbye to kickboxing classes tonight....

‘With change brings grief but don’t let that grief make you think that the change is a bad thing.’

Dátheangach/Bilingual

Ní shílim gur féidir leat aireachas a mhúineadh muna bhfuil tú á cleachtadh. Gach maidin bím ag canadh ar feadh 10 nóiméad, suím liom féin go ciúin ar feadh 20 nóiméad agus déanaim trí uair de EFT tapping. Leis an am ciúin seo bím in ann éisteacht le mo smaointe, mo chorp a mhothú agus tuigmháil ceart a fháil ar conas atá mé ag mothú.

I don’t think you can teach mindfulness without practicing it. Every morning I chant for 10 minutes, I meditate for 20 minutes and I do three rounds of EFT tapping. With this quiet time and space I am able to listen to my thoughts, my body and I get a real understanding as to how my body feels.

Mar thoradh ar seo, d’aithin mé ag deireadh na bliana seo caite go raibh rudaí le hathrú dom. Ní raibh a fhios agam cén cineál rudaí nó conas go n-athróidh siad ach thuig mé go raibh sé in am dom bogadh ar aghaidh, go fisiciúil. Ansin, ag deireadh mí Feabhra bheartaigh mé bogadh ar ais go Gaillimh.

As a result of this, I noticed at the end of last year that things were going to change for me. I didn’t know how or what was going to change but I did know that it was time for me to move on, physically. Then, at the end of February, I decided to move back to Galway.

Tá mé i mBéal Feirste beagnach 7 mbliana agus dá má rud é gur chas mé leis an Katie a bhog go Béal Feirste ar dtús amárach ar an sráid, ní bheadh aithne agam uirthi. D’athraigh mé go huile is go hiomlán le linn na blianta a chaith mé anseo agus beidh mé thar a bheith buíoch de na deiseanna athraithe a thug Béal Feirste dom go deo ach thuig mé ag an am sin, agus tuigim anois go bhfuil mé réidh le bogadh ar aghaidh.

I am in Belfast now for almost 7 years and if I met the Katie that moved to Belfast tomorrow on the street I wouldn’t recgonise her. I have changed so much during that years that I have spent here and I will be forever greatful to Belfast for the opportunities it has given me to change but I understood then and I understand now that it is time for me to move on.

Is as iarthar na tíre de m’athair agus chaith mé an-chuid ama ansin agus mé ag fás aníos agus ansin i ndiaidh na hollscoile bhog mé go Gaillimh ar feadh bliana. Nuair a d’imigh mé ón bpost ag an am sin, shíl mé go raibh post uaim agus dearfainn go raibh, agus sin a ghlac go Béal Feirste mé ach anois, tá an fharraige agus portaigh Conamara de mo ghlaoch ar ais. Tá mé ag rá le daoine gur bogadh anama atá ann agus gan an deis chiúin sin a bhíonn agam gach lá ní bheadh mé in ann éisteacht le m’anam agus na cogair chiúin a chloisteáil.

My dad is from the west of Ireland and I spent a lot of time there when I was growing up and then I moved to Galway for a year when I finished college. When I left the job I had at that time I thought that I needed a job and I probably did so I ended up in Belfast but now, the sea and the stony fields of Conamara ar calling me back. I am telling people that it is a soul move and without my morning practice of silence and ritual I wouldn’t have been able to hear the quiet whispers of my soul.